For so many years I held the belief that the right thing for me to do was to help others find fixes and solutions to their problems, especially moments of sadness or unhappiness. It’s a difficult thing to just be when those you love seem to be upset or suffering.
However during my recent four year sabbatical I started to realise how fundamentally flawed this fix people notion is, and decided to drop it. It’s been a process and I’m not always successful. Sometimes I fall back into fix it mode, but more and more I am able to sit with the heart and soul of the situation and let it be, more importantly, let others be.
Here’s a great story of a little boy who did this brilliantly (source unknown):
A four year old child whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said, ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’.